Resolution
by tristhe
Summary: Duo regains himself after Heero leaves him.


Title: Resolution

Author: Patricia Clemmer (taptristhe)

Fandom: Gundam Wing

Warnings: male/male gay relationship

Summary: Heero leaves. Duo gets over it.

-

A tattered screen-door swung open, and a young man walked out. He carried a backpack and a duffel, with keys jangling from one fist. He descended the few porch stairs, and crossed toward the driveway.

Before the screen-door could even fall shut, a second teenager burst out, far differently than the first. His eyes were wide with distress, and a sloppy braid restrained his long hair. His breath hitched as he continued a one-sided dialogue with the other boy.

"No, Heero, I'm sorry, _please_. You don't have to go, I can be quieter, or nicer, or less rowdy, I can be- be sedate, be calm, I _can_ please come back don't go I'm sorry!"

His voice was hoarse as he pleaded to Heero's retreating back. Heero did not turn, or waver at all.

"Heero, Heero _please_ you don't have to go, I can be better, I _swear!_ Don't go Heero, I promise, please, you can stay, I'll change, please don't go, I can change, stay please Heero please _please_-"

Heero continued walking, did not glance back. Duo fell to an awkward kneeling position on the porch.

_((But... I didn't even say it this time, I felt it I know... But I didn't say it I didn't that should have- So it doesn't matter how careful I am, it doesn't matter? But... no.. HE didn't say anything, he didn't even **feel** anything, I know he didn't lo- So, so it doesn't matter **anyway**! They don't even **have** to lo-love me it doesn't matter they're gonna go ANYWAY it **DOESN'T** **MATTER**!))_

He'd _tried_ to be better this time, he'd never said anything about love, and he _knew_ Heero didn't love him, respect him _maybe_, but he didn't love him or anything... And he still lost him. Was losing him-- as he sat there and watched, Heero was settling the backpack on his shoulders and latching the duffel onto his black motorcycle. Duo's pleadings drifted off into barely coherent whispers, and Heero was putting on the helmet. Tears obscured Duo's vision; but they didn't fall. His begging whispers grew more faint and Heero started up the engine, the air vibrating with its harsh bark.

The small dust trail from the vehicle gradually settled -- and Heero never had looked back -- and the unshed tears began to dry. Duo's vision cleared, showing with merciless clarity the empty road before him. The slight ringing in his ears subsided, and the full weight of the silence fell on him.

And so he sat there, just staring blankly for a while.

_((It doesn't matter... It doesn't even matter, they don't even **have** to love me, they go anyway it doesn't- it never mattered, he's gone, he said so, never coming back never ever and it doesn't matter, if I change or ANYTHING it doesn't matter, he's NEVER coming back, he's NEVER- ...how can he go? I... He didn't die.. But this is HEERO, he doesn't have to die, he said.. He said, said that- And it's Heero, death doesn't matter with him, it's still the same, he's Heero... He won't ever come back, he said he wouldn't, and I **know** that tone, I know that look, it's not like with him and Death, this time it's real, and he won't- won't ever...))_

Duo closed his eyes, finally. He slowly bent over, his arms clutched to his chest. His forehead did not quite meet the wood boards as he just sat -- just crouched there breathing.

His quiet breaths only stirred the dust below him slightly, those few motes shining golden in the setting sun's light. His fingers dug lightly into the fabric of his dull red t-shirt, and he caught his breath as he banged his head, once, on the floor. Softly, almost inaudibly he whispered into the silent dusk.

"It doesn't matter... It didn't matter."

His eyes, lightly pink around the edges from the tears that didn't fall, opened and stared blankly down. His brows were drawn, and the skin around his eyes tensed. His breath hitched once again, this time hinting at hysterical laughter.

"It didn't matter, not once to him, to God... Stupid God... never mattered..."

He closed his eyes, shaking his head slowly and brushing his bangs against the wood. The motion caused his braid to slide from his back, thumping down next to him. Again, his eyes opened -- this time the pain obvious and screaming in them.

The sunlight's tint had begun to change to blue, the sun hidden behind the tree-line. Soft laughter drifted up from the crouched figure.

"It doesn't matter! It doesn't _MATTER!"_

Duo shakily stood up. His fists were clenched, his limbs tensed and trembling very slightly. Blinking repeatedly, Duo clenched his jaw and raised his head. Twilight was well settled now, the pine forest little more than a black wall. He breathed purposefully and deeply, taking in the silence.

And slowly, Duo became aware that there wasn't any silence. During his grief, the night's inhabitants had come out. The encroaching darkness was filling with insects and small rustles. The wind.

His breath slowed, and he closed his eyes. He tilted his head into the breeze he'd been too preoccupied to feel before.

Night took full hold, the breeze chilling with the darkness. His muscles relaxed, one by one, and he simply stood.

Duo opened his eyes. He cast his gaze about the night, pausing briefly on the breathtakingly clear stars just above. And he turned, and walked steadily inside.


End file.
